Answer:
You'll be happy to hear
that they're not all that different from civilian weddings. Many
militarycouples get married in an academy chapel and/or have
the reception on a base, but some decideon a wedding with military
traditions in their own church, and have the reception at a hotel
or restaurant. It's not the location that creates a military wedding;
it's the uniforms! Remember,wedding requirements vary depending
on rank and military branch, so check with your base protocol
officer to find out exactly what you need to do.
Read on for more about
military wedding rules and traditions. If you have specific questions
not answered here, call the protocol office or chaplain's office
at the nearest military installation (or the one you're eyeing
for your wedding) for all the information you'll need.
WEDDING CLOTHES
Probably the main distinction of a military wedding is that the
bride and/or groom, as well as service members in the wedding
party, usually wear their uniforms. The type of uniform depends
on the style of the wedding, the time of day, and the season:
- Evening dress uniform
(blue in winter, white in summer) is worn for an ultra-formal
wedding (i.e., a white-tie affair).
- Dinner or "mess
dress" uniform is appropriate at a formal or semiformal
event (comparable to black-tie).
- Dress blues or whites
are worn for less formal weddings; they are equivalent to a
nice suit or a cutaway coat.
- Any nonmilitary wedding-party
members simply wear traditional wedding clothes of the same
level of formality as those in uniform.
Some additional tips:
- Bride and bridesmaids: The bride can wear her uniform (and so can any bridesmaids),
but many military brides opt for a traditional white wedding
dress. Bridesmaids might wear navy bridesmaids' gowns to complement
the colors of the men's uniforms, or any other color dress the
bride prefers.
- Groom and groomsmen: If any ushers are members of a different service than the groom
(Army instead of Navy, for example), they simply wear a uniform
of comparable formality to his. The groom and best man do not
wear gloves because they will be handling the rings, but the
other ushers wear white gloves throughout the ceremony. Boutonnieres
are never worn with uniforms; instead, officers wear their military
decorations.
- Parents: Should
the fathers of the bride or groom be active or retired officers,
they may wear uniforms. So may mothers, although they usually
choose to wear traditional mother-of-the-bride attire.
- Guests: Military
guests (active or retired) may wear their uniforms or traditional
formal attire. Put "Full dress uniform invited" on
the invites to request that your guests come in uniform.
INVITATIONS
Military wedding invitations follow the same general guidelines
used for civilian weddings. The main difference is in the use
of titles. The bride's/groom's rank and service, and that of any
of their parents, is included. Traditionally, brides who are members
of the military have not used their titles on the invitations,
but you absolutely can and should if you want to!
Here are the basics and
some examples.
If the bride, groom,
or both are senior officers (Commander and up in the Navy and
Coast Guard, Captain and up in the Army, Air Force, and Marine
Corps), their titles appear before their names, followed by the
branch or service on the line below:
Captain
Timothy Andrew Smith
United States Air Force
If the bride, groom,
or both are junior or company-grade officers, their titles appear
under their names, followed by the branch of service on the same
line:
Andrea
Rebecca Barnett
Second Lieutenant, United States Air Force
First and Second Lieutenants
in the Army both use simply "Lieutenant." In the Air
Force and Marines, "First" and "Second" are
used.
For enlisted personnel,
rank is usually omitted. The full name is written on one line,
with the branch of service underneath. "Mr." is never
used to address or refer to an officer on active duty.
Joseph
Peter Jones
United States Air Force
Retired officers (generally
this refers to parents of the bride and/or groom), especially
in the ranks of Commander and Lieutenant Colonel, generally keep
their titles in civilian life and use them on wedding invitations, *only* noting that they are retired if the invitation is
issued in their name alone:
Lieutenant
Colonel Richard James Dixon
United States Air Force, Retired
requests the honor of your presence...
When officers' names
are used with their spouse's name, the branch of service is not
mentioned on the line underneath.
Lieutenant
Colonel and Mrs. Richard James Dixon
request the honor of your presence...
Military titles should
never be abbreviated. Examples:
Brigadier
General and Mrs. David Louis Guthrie
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Leslie Anne
to
Paul Taylor Daley
Lieutenant, United States Army
Thursday, the ninth of June
at half past four o'clock
Cadet Chapel
West Point, New York
Lieutenant
General and Mrs. James Henry Barnett
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Captain Andrea Rebecca Barnett
United States Marine Corps
to
Major Anton Willard Stephens
United States Army
son of
Captain and Mrs. William Howard Stephens
Saturday, the ninth of January
at four o' clock
Marine Corps Memorial Chapel
Quantico, Virginia
Brenda
Marie Walsh
Second Lieutenant, United States Air Force
and
Captain Timothy Raymond Fulbright
United States Army
request the honor of your presence
at their wedding
Sunday, the third of March
at three o'clock in the afternoon
Memorial Chapel
Offutt Air Force Base
Bellevue, Nebraska
Outside envelopes should
be addressed with full names, no abbreviated titles:
- Major and Mrs. Anthony
Douglas Davis
- Captain James Rice
Taylor
The inner envelope is
addressed:
- Major and Mrs. Davis
- Captain Taylor
An invitation to a married
couple with the same rank and service:
- Captains Thomas and
Maria Marquette
- The Captains Marquette
In different services,
different ranks, when the wife has retained her maiden name:
- Major Maria Green
Captain Thomas Marquette
- Major Green and Captain
Marquette
In different services,
different ranks, when the couple has the same last name:
- Captain Thomas and
Major Maria Marquette
- Captain and Major
Marquette
A note on the guest
list: Depending on the size of the couple's station, commanding
officers, their spouses and all or some of the staff officers
(and their wives or husbands) should be invited to the wedding.
CEREMONY LOCATION
Many military weddings take place at military chapels or on academy
grounds (Army, Navy, or Air Force). If you'd like to use another
location, run it by your installation. Most military chapels are
like other in-demand ceremony sites -- you need to reserve them
at least a year ahead of time, often by applying in writing to
the chaplain's office. All service academies have more than one
chapel; at the Air Force Academy, for example, there are Protestant,
Catholic, and Jewish chapels. To marry in a military chapel at
a service academy, you must be a graduate or one of the following:
a dependent of a graduate; an officer or enlisted person assigned
to the academy complex, or his or her dependents; or a faculty
or staff member, active or retired, or his or her dependents.
There will probably be no charge for the use of the chapel, but
a donation to the chapel fund will be expected. The average donation
amount is $50-$60.
Rules for decorating military chapels vary across the country,
but all flowers, candelabra, and other decor are arranged by the
Chapel Altar Guild and are the same for all weddings. Some chapels
and churches do not furnish decorations; the couple plans them
themselves.
OFFICIANT
If you marry in a military chapel, the chaplain will perform your
ceremony, and when you reserve the chapel you'll arrange a meeting.
A few sessions of prewedding counseling may also be required.
If you'd like your civilian clergyperson to co-officiate, talk
to both officiants early about the possibility. Chaplains are
commissioned officers and are paid by the service they represent;
you do not need to pay them a fee (although you should make a
donation to the chapel; see above). It's customary to offer any
assisting civilian clergyman an honorarium.
THE ARCH OF SABERS
After the ceremony the newlyweds walk through an arch of sabers,
which are curved swords with only one edge. Actual swords are
used in a Naval and Marine wedding. The arch is not mandatory,
but it's definitely a memorable part of a military ceremony. On
most bases, at least one chapel or an honor guard usually has
sabers available for wedding ceremonies. Another possible source
is the local ROTC unit. The arch is usually formed outside of
the church or chapel; traditionally, a sword should never be unsheathed
inside a religious sanctuary.
Only commissioned officers, SNCOs and NCOs can carry sabers or
swords and participate in this ceremony. Often the military groomsmen
participate, but other officers (guests, perhaps) may be designated
to help create the arch. Usually 6-8 officers are included. The
head usher usually issues the commands, starting with "CENTER
FACE," the signal to form two facing lines. When the
order "ARCH SABERS" (or "BRIDGE SWORDS") is given, each usher raises his saber, cutting edge up, to form
the arch. Officers have been known to detour from tradition, announcing
the couple ("Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Lieutenant
and Mrs. Smith") or lowering the final two sabers to block
the couple's way and demand that they kiss!
A Marine Corps tradition, often adopted by the Air Force, is for
the last saber bearer to "tap" the bride with his saber
and say, "Welcome to the Marine Corps, Ma'am."
THE RECEPTION
Military receptions at academies or bases are often held at officers'
or enlisted clubs on the installation, or you can have a traditional
hotel or restaurant reception. Military guests are traditionally
shown to their seats in order of rank. You might play at bit of
regimental music, including the theme song of the bride's and/or
groom's branch of service. Decorations could include American
flags and/or the standards of your unit(s) in addition to flowers.
The highlight of a military reception comes when the bride and
groom cut the cake using a saber or sword, one belonging to the
groom if he owns one. The groom presents it to the bride and she
cuts a slice of the wedding cake with the groom's right hand resting
over hers.
In Closing
Finally, always get permission or verification
from proper military channels. If the wedding is to be held on
base (or military grounds), you should get permission for: photographers,
flowers, etc. Please check with your commanding officer, protocol
officer or chaplain on the proper protocol that should be followed
when planning a military wedding. Not only does each base differ,
but also each branch. They may also have more suggestions as well
as additions to what I have listed here.